Flushed with Success

Who knew that shopping for a toilet seat was so technical?

 For the first time in my life, after once again almost falling off "the throne" due to a broken hinge, I embarked on a quest for a new toilet seat. Mind you, I rent, and my landlord tends to do things "sorta allright." So I've learned not to be a perfectionist. But when safety is an issue, I need to step in.

Since the defective seat was a flimsy plastic thing that one couldn't even sit on when closed, I was determined to go for a bit higher quality without being flamboyant (I really didn't need a polished oak seat, or a padded one. I did almost consider one on which I could train my cat to "go" but decided against it.)

Measuring tape in hand, I measured across, down, and between posts, as those seemed the most likely. Also I did it in inches and centimeters, as we get both here. That completed, I was on my way to the local hardware store (no Target or K-Mart here.)

It was amusing to see that, of all the departments in the place, three people had converged on the toilet seat section. We all had our tiny papers with measurements and our measuring tapes in hand. After sharing stories about our broken seats (you get comfortable fast with strangers who also have "toilet troubles" it seems), we started picking through the bins. There were not too many choices.

That was hard. The display had no rhyme or reason, no sizing, not even color classification. In fact, many of the seats were in plain brown boxes so you couldn't tell anything about them without opening them up. No being a shy consumer, I started pulling boxes down and opening them up, then measuring. We all leaned towards the conservative; no one was interested in the clear seat with sea shells embedded, or the blue clear "fish" toilet seat.

At one point a salesperson came up to ask us if we needed help, but she was obviously not trained in the intricacies of toilet seat replacement. She did, however, inform us that toilet seats were not returnable. Ya think? EEEUW!

I ended up with a "green" toilet seat. I mean, it's white, but made of recycled materials, which proved to be a godsend, since it needed a bit of "tweaking" to fit. OK. Maybe I didn't measure so accurately or note the exact shape of my toilet. Or maybe it's another one of my landlord's "finds" that is not quite standard. But with a bit of drilling and if you don't look too closely, my beautiful white scalloped toilet seat makes my bathroom a bit more lavish. And it also has a special feature....it is easily snapped off for cleaning (who takes off the toilet seat to clean it, anyway??)

Chalk this up to one more unique experience ten degrees north of the equator.